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The Lizard Demos

by Word Salad

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1.
The Reading of the Will (Introduction) 00:47
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This is the last will and testament of beloved father, Sam Sampson: To my wife I leave my cats To my parents I leave my cars To my PARENTS I leave my other cars And to my son I leave My pet lizard Jeffrey MY PET LIZARD JEFFREY
2.
Ode To Jeffery 02:10
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1 2 1 2 3 4 I was an ordinary boy/kid...kid I had a dad I had a life I was an ordinary kid/boy Until that man with a scythe He took my dad away He took my dad away 1 2 1 2 3 4 Now I've been crying for a while But my dad left me his reptile It's a lizard who's named Jeff Given to me after my father's death After his death Will it fill the void Will it fill the void 1 2 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 But if it is my job To raise the little guy Then ain't no one can stop me I'd like to see them try I'll take care of him dad I'll take care of him dad I'll take care of him dad Take care of him dad (Pretty good)
3.
Ode to John P 01:47
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I was an ordinary pet A lizard who's named Jeff But my owner passed away two weeks ago Sam Sampson he was called The greatest of them all He raised me as a son he was my hero I've got scaly skin and a bite sized reptile brain I've got cold blood and a burning, bleeding heart But that don't mean I can't feel love or pain Now that my owner passed and we're apart Now I belong to the son of Samuel Sampson Now I belong to the late Sam Sampson's son Could this boy replace him? Can he fill the void? Now that his old man's precious life is done Now that his old man's precious life is done Now that his old man's precious life is done
4.
Invocation (Call to the Lizard Lord) 01:14
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(Don't get lost I mean come back when you're finished) Lizard lord I call upon thee now Cast the grasp upon me now Whip thy tail towards lowly ground Give us our rain oh lizard lizard Give us your hands give us your gizzard What do we need oh lizard lizard lord I need to raise a lizard, lord I need to raise a lizard
5.
Indication (Aisle 7) 00:10
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Uh I don't know what any of that means but the lizard food is on aisle one and uh here's a copy of my mixed tape. Check it out.
6.
Indignation (Pet Store by Turd Salad 01:13
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(Weird) I'm a pet store owner I own a pet store It ain't a loaner I'm a pet store owner I'm a pet store owner Come see whats in store I'm a pet store owner I'm a pet store owner Come see what I got to show you I'm a pet store owner I own a pet store (So what do you think?)
7.
Every Love 02:53
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(Wihar wihar That's my vocal warm up yeah? No Alright uno dos tres) Every Lizard I've ever met has been named Jeff That's because I'm the only lizard I've ever met In this boy's broken state I bet One day he could be a lizard yet Every boy I've ever met has been named John When it comes to names mine's a popular one Every friend I've ever had has been named John Now I'm friends with Jeff the Lizard is that so wrong? Is that so wrong? Every pet I've ever left has been a lizard Every son I've ever loved has been my own I'm just dad I'm not a wizard but when I died I didn't leave them alone I left my son with Jeff the Lizard I left my lizard with my son When I died I lost it all I lost my cars I lost my other cars Yeah! I lost my other cars and my cars They meant so much to me A A A A A B
8.
Elsewhere (Introduction 2) 01:00
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(Yeah you can la dee da) Now our story As stories are want to do Sprouts a new story And our tail turns to the President La dee da's
9.
President Killbourne's Zoo Boy Blues 03:19
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(The lightning, do you see it? Why?) I was born in no where town in no where USA A dead beat kid with dead beat plans I lived the dead beat way I lived the dead beat way I lived the dead beat way I grew up with a turtle friend, the turtle's name was Sal The turtle died as turtles will and I lost my little pal I lost my little pal I lost my little pal I ran away from home to build a new life at the zoo They had giraffes and they had squids and they had lizards too They had lizards too They had lizards too I met a man whose name was Sam, he had a lizard who's named Jeff Sam and Jeff were running from the law, the government of death The government of death The government of death That was twenty years ago and the pair they did escape Now Sam is dead and I'm the president of these United States Of these United States Of these United States You see, Sam was working on a top secret government project known as operation wizard twin, but due to a typographical error, he accidentally turned one of his twin sons, Jeffrey, into a lizard. Now that the government of death is after Jeff I will stop at nothing to retrieve him because I am the president and I believe in lizards I'll find you Jeff I'll find you I can dig
10.
Agents of Death 01:04
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(Let too long go) My name is Huge Ackman And I'm Jack Human We're from the government of death We're looking for a lizard named Jeff If you find him let us know We are willing to do just about anything to find him You know what we should do What? We should contact the Lizard Lord Oh Lizard Lord this next one's for you
11.
Invocation 2 (Give Us Jeff by Huge Ackman and Jack Human) 01:22
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(I’ll just crop it.) Lizard Lord… Lizard Lord Bring me Jeff Lizard Lord After the death of Sam Sampson Reptile, reptile Reptile with a tail That grows back Lizard Lord I need Jeff Reptile, Reptile Lizard Lord After the death Of Sam Sampson Lizard Lord Lizard Lord, give me Jeff Lizard Lord We need him now Lizard Lord, Lizard Lord Give me Jeff, Lizard Lord Give me Jeff Lizard Lord, I need Jeff Jeff the Lizard, Lord
12.
Indication 2 (*Aisle 7) 00:19
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Indication 2 Guys, I’m sorry, we don’t really sell lizards here at the store, but the lizard’s foods in aisle six… and, uh, me and my band wrote this new mix tape. You should check it out.
13.
Indignation 2 (Pet $tore by Turd Salad) 02:08
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(Odd) Turd Salad MC Tom Coco Magee Productions Hype Man James on the hype, give him a hi (hi) the one, the acceptable, officer on the beat if you don’t you know, I’m a pet store owner don’t gotta pay rent cause it ain’t a loaner i make enough money so that I can hit the mall when I’m at the mall, man, I can buy it all For example last week, a bought a mattress I later slept on top of it with an actress we didn’t have sex, but we got to second base now I’m on the mic and I’m in your face I own a pet store what? I own a pet store what?? I own a pet store wait what??? I own a pet store oh. Oh, speaking of pet stores, I own one. (own one) It’s not a loaner so I owe none owe none!) Running this pet store is most ill It’s a lotta work but it’s so chill My mom says “son, you ain't got a real job pet stores don’t exist, they’re a front for the mob” but mobs are concepts, they don’t have fronts mom I’m sick and tired of you pulling all the stunts I own a pet store what? I own a pet store what?? I own a pet store one more time, say it one more time I own a pet store OK, OK! I own a pet store, pet store, I own a pet store. Mom, it’s a real job. I own a pet store I own a pet store I own a pet store Whaaaaaaaat. And we out. (So, what did you think?)
14.
Damn Theives! (The President's Lament) 02:35
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(Yeahword! It's like onward but with yes I'd like to move yeahword On?) The agents came and they took Jeff The agents from the Government of Death They came for Jeff then they took Jeff They took that lizard who’s named Jeff Those agents from the Government of Death Those agents, they took Jeff. Even though I’m president, Despite being commander in chief, Regardless of my political power The agents of Death, they give me grief They give me grief The government from whence they’re sent Doesn’t look for our government’s consent So as the president I must accept Those agents, they took Jeff. Oh they took Jeff. The agents came and took from John that pet That lizard who’s named Jeff Oh who’s named Jeff That lizard who’s named Jeff. And put him in a zoo.
15.
Come Home Jeffery 04:05
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(Ow. Ow! You cut me! Sir.) Where are you, Jeffery? It’s me, John P. Wondering where did you go? Why did you leave me? Why did you leave my home? I need to know. I need to know. Hey Jeffery, did I ever tell you about my mother, and her cats? And how they left me, They left me too When I was swimming Down in Peru Down in Peru Also Jeffery, have I told you I grew up with a twin? His name was Jeffery Jeffery’s your name too But then he left me Just like you. Just like you. Hey Jeffery, also, did you know that I needed you to raise me as a son? I’m not angry You are my savior You are my shepherd You are my light You are my light Hey Mary, it’s your husband, President Kilbourne. I guess ex-husband now. But not ex-president. I miss you, Mary. I wish you’d come by. Hey Jack, it’s Huge. I miss you buddy. Ever since you died on that mission. It’s been really tough ever since you’ve been gone. I hope Heaven’s treating you well. Marge. Marge, it’s me, Jane. Your co host. Come back to the show. Your replacement Carol? She’s no good. Our ratings have suffered, Marge. I need you now. Hello John. P, It’s your lizard Jeffery It’s so cold here At the zoo Please come get me Those agents got me Oh I’m so lonely I’m so blue.
16.
Intermission 01:39
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(Don't be so shy HOH hoh) We have no dads We have no sons We had each other Now we have no one Oh Samuel Sampson We need you now We call upon thee We call to thou We call to thou We call to thou

about

A simple tale of love lost and lost love, of secrecy and deceit, of growing up, of stewardship and ownership, family and faith, intergovernmental jurisdictionary disputes, but more than anything else, of the incorruptible bond between a boy and his lizard.

PLEASE NOTE:
We consider this an INCOMPLETE DEMO....Jackson had to leave for college, that grimy intellectual.
We still have more songs to add, and who knows, maybe one day we'll record in a real live studio ;)

by downloading this album, you promise to go out into the world and discover the beautiful, intricate ways in which each person you encounter wants to be loved. love that person accordingly. love them with the whole of your being.

"Welcome to this world, have as much fun as you can have, while helping others have as much fun as you're having."
-Andrew Jackson Jihad

credits

released September 8, 2015

Devised, written, and performed by:

- The enchanting Curt Scheffel (vocals, guitar, uke, bells, drums, harmonica, and hype)
- His taller, bearded partner-in-song Jackson Zinn-Rowthorn (vocals, guitar, bass, and fresh raps)

With guest artists:

Schuyler Fica-Goetzel
Olivia Di Poi
Guillermo Bey Irizarry Lambright
A large group of sweaty, rowdy men
The howling crickets of Westmoor park
The one, the acceptable, Officer (beat)

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all rights reserved

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Word Salad West Hartford, Connecticut

We are Curt and Jackson, a pair of close friends from suburban CT.

We make music in the woods at night, and wholeheartedly embrace any opportunity to wear silly hats.

What else is there to say? ... more

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